Hey everyone,
I had previously posted about a situation with a broke "friend" that has been acting a bit shady when it comes to money and I'm finding myself in a really weird and awkward situation that I have no idea how to deal with.
The last time I saw my "friend" in a social setting was at a brunch with a little over 20 people. The brunch was hosted by her friend, whom I'm acquainted with but not super close with. It was a casual cafe and some people ordered full brunches while others just ordered a coffee and something small. I ordered a pastry and regular coffee (total was $4.50) and my friend ordered a full breakfast and a fancy $4 cappuccino (total was $16.50).
The host wanted to pay via one check so the waitress wouldn't have to bring out a bunch of separate checks. I actually prefer getting separate checks when I go out with friends, but I also prefer to go with the flow, especially in settings where I'm not that close with everyone. I didn't want to impose my preferences especially when the host made it clear she wanted to do one check.
My "friend" suggested that I Venmo her $6 to cover my pastry/drink + tax + tip, and that she would Venmo her friend (the host) $26. She said this was more convenient for the host rather than getting 20+ separate payments. She then kept announcing to everyone around us that we were paying together, which I thought was a bit weird.
Before the bill came, my "friend" left early to go to her nephew's birthday party. She left without paying. When the bill came, I just Venmo'd the host $10 ($4.50 + tip + tax + a few dollars extra, in case we came up short). The host asked if I was paying for my "friend" as well. At that moment, it had clicked why she kept telling people we were paying together. She had been scheming all along to leave someone else to pay for her food.
I responded "I don't think so. She said she would venmo you." This is technically true, as my friend originally said that she would venmo the host $26 for BOTH of us. The host looked pissed and didn't say anything else to me. The people next to me also looked uncomfortable. In hindsight, I realized this was because my friend had previously announced that we were paying together. Afterwards, I felt crappy about the entire situation, like I should've covered for my friend somehow, but to be real FU**ing honest, I didn't feel like paying $20 for someone who just put me in a really awkward position the way she did.
Anyway, I just met up with this friend who asked if I wanted to get lunch. I was wary but I sensed she needed to talk so I agreed to meet up with her. However, I did not order anything, I just sipped on water. This "friend" said she felt betrayed that I only paid for my food when she told everyone that we were paying together. She asked me why I would do that and not have her back.
Unbelievable. I was so speechless I didn't know what to say. I told her that this was on her, as she is the one that left the restaurant without paying. I told her I never agreed to pay for her. I only agreed to let her pay for us together via Venmo if I give her $6. She pointed out some of the nice things I have and how I was selfish because I am well off but I'm not even willing to help out a friend with basic, small necessities, when I have all these nice things. I told her that friends don't put friends in awkward situations like she did.
I almost wanted to tell her that if she is having trouble paying for the basic necessities, that is on her, because she shouldn't be paying $1,000 a month for personal training sessions if she really is having that much trouble even paying for food. I held my tongue and just told her that I was done with this conversation and started getting my stuff to leave. She spat out that I'm not welcome to hang out with her friends and said I couldn't come to some upcoming holiday events her friends had invited me to. (I'm new to town as I moved here for a job. I'm extremely introverted and quiet, and don't get out to socialize much, so I've been on meetup to make new friends and stuff. I do feel grateful she introduced me to her friends, but I'd rather have no friends than deal with a friend that expects me to pay for friendship).
I shrugged and said "peace out" and left. I don't need people like her in my life, although I don't know what I'm supposed to say or do if I run into her friends and/or if they text me. Do I just avoid them? How do I diplomatically handle or talk about our fall-out if anyone asks? i feel like I somehow became the bad person.
TL;DR: Broke "friend" confronted me that I "backstabbed" her by not paying for her food when she left without paying her bill. We are no longer friends and I am unsure of how to deal with potential awkward situations when I run into her friends or if they text me. Do I just avoid them? If not, what is the best way to handle potential future encounters with them?
Submitted December 07, 2019 at 02:44PM by PKIR683 https://ift.tt/2RuGuxX
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