Husband retreats to his apartment when angry, and uses marital residence as a revolving door to fluctuate with his commitment/disprove

Husband storms off in anger and leaves for the night when angry

We are in the middle of a reconciliation.

We’ve been married for 22 years and have children.

We were separated for 18 months.

He had an apartment, and an off-again-on-again girlfriend 17 years his junior for 8 months while I raised our children at our marital residence. Clearly, I forgave him and have moved forward. Note: apartment lease ends in January and he was planning on ending his lease and moving back home. He spends 85% of his time at our home.

We reconciled nearly 3 months ago, and 80% of the time it’s going well, but there is a 20% that is not really jiving with me.

We ran errands all day yesterday with our kids, and enjoyed the Saturday. We had a good time. At the end of the evening our 2 year old son either had to face a 30 minute drive home in hunger or we could stop at a local establishment to feed our son.

Husband was quietly livid that we had to break plans and stop to feed our son and grumbled and complained about this short-notice venture. I went in with our children, fed them and he waited outside in our vehicle.

25 minutes later, we ventured back to the vehicle, and he drove home in silence while the kids and I chatted. When we returned home, he helped unload groceries and then he came to me in the living room and said, “I’m going to my apartment.” So, he left last night and I haven’t spoken to him since.

This is not the first time. In fact, he’s stormed off to his apartment 3 times now, and I have expressed to him that I don’t like it, and if he has an issue to talk and discuss or table. Retreating is not healthy. Our weekly therapist has told him that he should not escape/retreat when life gets hard.

Anyway, I’ve told him that if he leaves again like this, he is showing me that he has one foot in and one foot out and not at all committed, and he can leave for good should he do this again. Well, he did it again 2 days after we spoke about this...

Am I unfairly laying down harsh restrictions/expectations? Is this to be accepted?

Advice?

TL;DR Husband retreats to his apartment when angry. This is the 4th time now, and at the 3rd time, I draw my line in the sand. His family home is not a revolving door to fluctuate with his commitment.

Submitted November 10, 2019 at 10:16AM by OhWaitWhaaaaat https://ift.tt/36TNDgL