Myself, a straight man, (25M) doesn't know how to cope with losing the gay best friend (26M) that I love but don't want a relationship with. How can I move on?

I (25M) first met him (26M) five years ago online. We instantly clicked. At the time I was in the middle of college & was thinking about experimenting with men. We broke up after I admitted my love for him (which wasn't reciprocated at the time) and we've talked on and off over the years and had our shares of new people we date. He's stayed single while I have had a number of girlfriends or women whom I've dated.

In that time I've realized I'm neither bisexual nor am I attracted to men. But everytime we reconnect, that spark comes up because our personalities just perfectly mesh. It's been hard lately since we've been consistently talking for almost a year now, staying just friends, but realizing this isn't going anywhere he's chosen to distance himself from me. For context as well, following our first reconnection, he told me he loves me and to this day will acknowledge he still loves me (and knows I'll always love him).

Personally, I feel a part of me is lost because our conversations are cold and I know I cannot give him what he wants. I physically desire a woman, and my own children, yet he's the temptation that's kept me single for many, many years. He's like my best friend, but I also know I could hold him in my arms forever and see myself waking up to him day in and day out. Unfortunately, I'm neither physically attracted to him nor do I see myself ever having sex with him. Plus, I'm religious, so it's difficult when I know I actively want to follow the traditions of my people and their culture.

I was wondering if any gay men or any straight men whom have been in my shoes can give me recommendations of how to move forward from this? It's tough losing this man in my life, and I know it's just as disruptive for him too. I'm at a lost for what to do.

TL;DR: Cis male doesn't know how to cope with losing the gay best friend he's in love with.

Submitted September 30, 2019 at 02:32PM by BeanGaySucksWenUrNot https://ift.tt/2nk9iMU