To start this off, I’d just like to say I’m not very active on reddit, and am not super familiar with Shorthand so forgive me for the lengthy post.
A little background:
I (25F) am of south Asian descent, brought up Muslim, identify as such (for the most part), and well— I come from a family where every minute detail of my life had been decided for me... up until 2 years ago. I suffer from diagnosed bipolar, depression, and severe anxiety— psychiatrists and therapists say it’s because of my father and mother and I am prescribed a slurry of medication to deal with the issues. Anyway, I was always super obedient, polite, extremely studious, creative, and a good girl all around. Until I got to college (of course), and I discovered cigarettes, boys, etc. And I went through some rough patches, so when I was 21, my parents had had enough with me so they took me back to the home country, and forcibly had me married to an asswipe who was abusive and someone who I had no interest in—romantically or otherwise. 1.5 years later I was broken down, and going through a divorce at the age of 22 and by 23 I was a divorcee. Around the same time I met a wonderful human(26M), who I am still with, on tinder and he made (makes) me happy. Who is not the same race or of the same religion... of course, because I just didn’t want to associate. There were tears, fights, physical abuse, etc when they (my family) caught wind of my whirlwind romance. So they forced me to break up with him (my bf). We parted ways until I realized he still cared because he’d text me almost daily asking how I was and despite everything, he still wanted to be with me— so with all the abuse at home, a yearning for wanting to feel loved and accepted, I saved up my money, and moved out.
FAST FORWARD TO TODAY
As of today, it has been 2 years since I moved out, and now my parents want me to move back. I live close enough where I see them at least 1-2 times a month and I talk to them often, but I just don’t want to move back because I know it’ll go back to the way it was. My BF recently moved about 2.5 hours away and if I moved home, I’d never see him again, but I love him and want to be with him. So my parents keep throwing this ultimatum in my face, “if you don’t move back, don’t ever come back here. You’re not welcome here. WE ARE NOT YOUR AIRBNB HOSTS. WE ARE NOT YOUR UBER SERVICE TO PICK YOU UP AND DROP YOU OFF AS YOU PLEASE. You are not family, you are a poison.” I’d post a photo of a textual conversation, however, this was verbal. I feel genuinely unloved by them and pushed into a corner, but I love them unconditionally even after everything they’ve done to me, but I also love my bf.
This upcoming weekend, is Labor Day, for which I was planning to go to visit my bf, and instead my parents sprung a family vacation on me. Telling me they bought my ticket and that I’d need to take off of work, but I can’t and I don’t want to, because I know they’ll just hound me about moving back.
At this point, I’m so done with everything, I just wish that I had a genuine solution. I feel like an ostrich with its head in the sand, hiding but completely exposed. What do I do? How do I deal with this, it’s taking a toll on me.
TL;DR
My abusive parents want me (25F)to move back, they don’t know I’m in a committed LDR (2.5 years now) with my BF (26M), and are using control tactics like booking family vacations to corner me into giving them an answer but I don’t know how to tell them I don’t want to live with them Bc I still love them so much, and I don’t want them to hate me, I also don’t want to lose my BF as a result.
Help.
Thank u
Submitted August 23, 2019 at 12:02PM by chumree https://ift.tt/2KPkV7y
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