My BF (33/m) snooped, found awful text messages between my friend and I (29/f) after our first date and is breaking up with me. I'm devastated, lost, and feel horrible.

A couple days ago I told my bf of only two months my iPad password in case he ever wanted to use it. Even in that short time, I've fallen hard for him and trust him entirely so I didn't mind. Plus, I would never do anything untrustworthy so an issue never crossed my mind?

Well, today I left the apartment to go to the pool as he stayed inside only to get a text a little while later basically saying "i feel bad for doing it but I looked at your messages. if you were going to tell your friend how ugly you think my teeth are or how unattractive you think I am, or that I'm not your type, you shouldn't have given me your password. I got an Uber and I'm leaving"

I ran back upstairs hyperventilating because I was so shocked but also didn't even realize I had said those things. We haven't been together long but when we first started dating I had had some horrible dating experiences previously, I didn't feel much hope and although I had a great date with him, I think I had this wall up and would only vent to my friends about the negatives because I didn't think things would actually go anywhere with anyone or work out. I can't explain it because clearly I said them, but they're not true and looking back I can't imagine ever feeling that way about him.

Now, I'll admit that I said some extremely hurtful things I would've never said to his face. His pictures didn't show his teeth so when I met him I was surprised that they weren't a perfect set, I've spent years and thousands of dollars on my own teeth so teeth are something I notice but he's from another country originally and it's not a huge deal. Apparently I later texted my friend saying how awful they were "like, really bad" and even sent a picture of crooked teeth. Looking back I don't even know how or why because though there are a couple imperfections but they aren't awful at all and I'm beyond attracted to him, physically, mentally, etc. I went on to say things like I'm not sure if I'm attracted to him or that he's odd-looking and even compared him to a dude I had just gone out with. A buff meathead who doesn't even compare to the man my boyfriend (ex?) is. It doesn't excuse saying mean things and I don't even know why I did other than just seeing the worst in people and being negative to my friends because our first date was amazing. We talked, we stayed and had drinks for hours and have spent nearly every day together since.

I'm beyond devastated and was truly in love and pictured a future with this man. But he says he can't get over someone saying that about him and that he doesn't believe me when I tell him how crazy I am about him and it was a stupid thing to send a gf. He's telling me how much he hates himself and that he left a message on the orthodontists voicemail for tomorrow and that things are done between us. He is so hurt and keeps asking me how I could say those things when he was so nice and our date went so well. And I don't know. I generally am not a mean or judgmental person but I don't know why I go so negative about dates. I've never felt this bad about anything in my life and I'm lost and in shock. I need to not be so loose with my words because they carry meaning. This man, who I thought might one day be my forever, is lost to me forever because I was a horrible, just being insanely critical to my friend and he read stuff that isn't even true or how I feel. I want to be with him. Is this something you could look past or ever trust again? Or should I just leave him alone and realize it's done?

TL;DR My boyfriend read texts I sent my friend after our first date where I said I wasn't sure is I was attracted to him, compared him to another man, and mentioned his teeth in overly critical, horrible, ways. He said things are done and he can't move past that.

Submitted June 23, 2019 at 06:02PM by agentbauer http://bit.ly/2KFCzfp