I (23F) wanted to take my siblings (14F) & (22M) on a trip now that I’ve finally saved up enough to do so. We’ve been dreaming of Japan since we were little, each of us has their own story as to why, but this magical place is the one thing we have in common there. It’s basically a life dream, complete with mock travel itineraries and vision boards, and I feel like we are all at such a special point in our lives where we’re old enough to go on adventures together, but young enough to have no crazy responsibilities (overlapping work schedules, children of our own, …) holding us back.
After discussing and being super excited for weeks, it turns out my brother thought it was implied his girlfriend (of 1 year) was also invited. Personally I don’t mind her, however my sister has expressed dislike for her (as has the rest of my family, which is unusual for them), plus sadness about never hanging out with my brother anymore, the gf is always there. It just changes the whole dynamic.He’s completely smitten and they’re joined at the hips. When my sister told him she would prefer if it was just a sibling’s trip, he said he would NOT come along without his gf.
Emotionally, I’m quite heartbroken that he is choosing this lovely girl that he already lives with, over some quality time with his sisters he hasn’t hung out with in months. If my little sister told me she was sad about feeling like we never spend real 1-on-1 time together anymore, I would politely explain to my partner that I need to go hang out with her on my own sometimes, and I certainly wouldn’t say “Either my partner comes, or I’m not coming, we’re a package deal“
On the other hand, I get that they’re young and in love and are like oxygen to each other.
Another layer is that of course I’m paying for everything, they are kids/broke, and I don’t love the thought of spending a hard-earned fortune just toa) send the message to my sister that my brother is being rewarded for acting this way,b) make my sister unhappy by bringing in a person that she doesn’t prefer being around.
At this point, I feel like even if I could make him see how he’s acting, and he decides to come along without gf, I’m afraid he would be moping around for most of the trip, missing his gf, and constantly texting her.
I think we will have more trips, albeit more difficult to organize, in the future. Do I uninvite my brother and risk pissing him off, creating more distance and pushing him further towards his gf? Or do I invite her along and we try our best, or do separate activities on the trip?
What would you do? Have you been in a similar situation, maybe not as me, but as one of my siblings or the partner of a sibling? Any and all advice and perspectives are all very much appreciated!!!
TL;DR! brother won't come along to long-awaited siblings trip unless his girlfriend is invited
Submitted November 22, 2021 at 07:47AM by throwaway_pls_help01 https://ift.tt/3xazppj
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