I (33/f) started talking to this guy (40/m) on a dating app and we hit it off. Nice intellectual conversations, many common interests, shared taste in shows, movies, games, etc. We’re both nerdy and we’re both looking for a serious relationship. Seems great so far! He’s just moved back to my state (where he originally grew up) after living in another state for a while. In the week that we talked online, he managed to find a job working with kids in his area.
He lives 2 hours away from me. He asked if the distance would be a problem and I said no, but that he would have to do the majority of the commute because of my PTSD from a car accident. He said he was totally fine with this, and drove 2 hours to see me.
Our first date was coffee and a walk downtown. He’s cute and funny and he keeps me talking, which I usually struggle with because I’m shy. At the end of the date, he kissed me and locked down a second date before he left.
Still great so far!
He texted and said he’d taken down his OLD profile because he didn’t want to talk to anyone else. He also started asking me if I still spent time/was friends with any exes, because he’s not comfortable with that after being cheated on. “Once we’re a couple,” he wants to know if any exes will be present at any group events ahead of time.
I’ve continued to see him, and he told me this week that he was looking at a place to rent here in my town. I said that was a little wild after 3 dates and 1 week, especially when his brand new job is 2 hours away. I said he would exhaust himself, and we might be putting too much pressure on the relationship, and he said he wasn’t worried about burning out and that he doesn’t care where he lives whether we work out or not.
I can’t tell him what to do with his living situation (he currently lives with his brother until he can find his own place) but this freaked me out. I kept reminding him that it’s been a week, and he jokingly called me a Debbie downer. I asked if he’d considered finding a halfway point instead, and now that’s what he’s looking towards instead of moving to my town.
He texts constantly. Wants to call daily. Said he almost brought flowers to my house but didn’t because he knew my son was there and it’s early, so I probably hadn’t told my kid about him yet. Uh yeah, no? He’s writing me a poem and making Spotify playlists for me. It is all very sweet, but it’s a lot.
I have a bad habit of dating emotionally unavailable men so my radar is a little off here. I don’t want to think the worst of someone who’s just super into me and actually wants to be with me, but this is starting to freak me out. Is this normal? Am I too just too used to dudes who aren’t into me?
tl;dr: Guy I've been seeing for 2 weeks / 3 dates is super super into me, including looking into a place to move to in my town despite his job being 2 hours away. Constantly texts and is already writing me poetry (we are both writers). Told me he's not comfortable with me hanging out with exes as friends after the first date. I'm so used to emotionally unavailable men that I can't tell if this pace is normal or if this is lovebombing/something else. Should I be more firm about slower pacing, or is this already enough of a red flag to cut and bail?
Submitted June 23, 2021 at 12:08PM by zinogres https://ift.tt/3zNVs5U
No comments:
Post a Comment