TL;DR: The definition of insanity is doing something over and over again expecting different results. If the results don’t change. It’s time to change tactics. In this example, it’s time to let go of the past and make room for the future. I hope this helps someone. It took me WAY to long to figure this out.
I’ve been stuck on this same girl for almost a decade. A whole DECADE! We dated on and off. We would break up and not talk for a bit. But we would inevitably start talking again. We realized the connection between us was much more than that and it always will be. So we tried dating again. It worked for a while and it was good.
This last time we broke up. She was going through probably the hardest time in her life. She decided she needed to hit rock bottom in order to find herself and find her own path. I wasn’t letting her hit rock bottom, so we broke up. That was rough, if I couldn’t be there for the worst of times, how am I suppose to be there for the best of times?
But I understood, respected her decision and moved on. 6-8 months later, she did everything she said she was going to. She found herself, her own path, a great job and was killing it! Inevitably we started talking again. Tried to be friends. But of course, became a little bit more than that (Like always). I could see she finally saw in herself, what I had all along! A strong, independent, successful women. But most importantly, a happy person! She was happy! She was finally happy! I wanted to be apart of this incredible, happy women’s life!
But, she chose a different path. She chose self growth over relationship. She didn’t have time for that now. She had a kid and was working 2 jobs. She needed to focus on herself, her family and her career. I can’t be mad at that. If anything, I can’t blame her and I would have probably done the same thing in her shoes….But it didn’t make it hurt any less.
I kept up with her for a little bit because I was hoping at some point I would be there for when she did decide it was the right time. She didn’t want to put a label on it. She would always ask, why are you in such a rush? Love doesn’t just fade away, love is always there.
I guess I didn’t have the answer at the time, but now I do. I was in a rush because I could see the incredible women she had blossomed into. What I’ve always knew she could be. I didn’t want anybody taking her way from me. If I could see it, everybody else could too! I was afraid of losing her (like I had multiple times before). She was finally in a good place. Possibly for the first time since we have know each other, in a better place than me. She had a clear path, goals, and a career. I just graduated college but got laid off at my job. I was lost and didn’t know what to do. So I moved back in with my dad to save money and decided to start my own business.
After a couple months of playing the game of “I don’t really want you” and “I’m okay with this situation”. We slowly started to talk less and less. Idk if she realized it first or I did. But I finally realized that it wasn’t fair for her or me. I was living in a delusion. I needed to let go to make room for my goals. To be open to possibilities for my career. I needed to step away so she could follow her own way . Find and hone her career. Take care of her family. Maybe even find someone that matched her new career and path better than I could. I was being selfish and holding on to the hope of something that simply wasn’t going to happen. That wasn’t fair for either of us.
That was the hardest part. I needed to step away. The realization of that hurt the most. It still does. I’m a firm believer in once you love someone, you can’t stop loving them. I guess we both agreed on that. I do believe we loved each other and always will. We were simply in the wrong place and wrong time in each other’s lives, one too many times to make it truly work.
What I’ve come to believe in life is the hardest things to do, are usually the best course of action. If you are nervous, scared and/or hesitant, you’re probably doing the right thing. Life is all about challenges. Most challenges you come across in life, have those feelings. Face them head on. ………
So I let her go.
I still think and dream about her all the time. We message each other occasionally. But I try and keep my distance. Who knows what the future holds. We seem to always find our way back to each other in weird ways. Maybe one day we can be just friends. But not anytime soon. For the first time, in a long time, I’ve decided to let us go.
Submitted June 05, 2021 at 12:07AM by CounterProductiv3 https://ift.tt/3iiWKQ4
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