We’ve been together for nearly 10 years, married for 7. Communication is hard and we are working on it. I love my husband and we will figure this out.
We have a reoccurring problem. I still haven’t successfully gotten this through to him yet. It’s like there’s a barrier. If I come to him with something that has happened in our marriage that I don’t like, whether it’s big or small, he will immediately become defensive and dance around the issue until his feet bleed. He will choose that moment to air all of his grievances. There’s a “I work so hard, I try my best, and it’s still not enough” spiel. Our arguments are over small things, it never warrants any of this. Then it’s “well what about what you did that one time,” and before I know it, we’re not even talking about the original topic anymore. It goes nowhere.
I feel so defeated every time and I can feel myself shutting down. I’m hesitant to bring up my concerns about anything anymore because it becomes this huge, unnecessary production. It’s like we have to learn how to fight or something. I have gently brought up counseling to “teach” us how to handle arguments because they aren’t productive at all and end with me just desperately dropping it because it’s not going anywhere.
I don’t know what my question is. I guess it’s how do I explain THIS to my husband because he just can’t see the behavior at all. I need to try to communicate this to him in a different way.
TL;DR - Husband overshadows me when I bring up a problem I am having in our marriage.
Submitted June 21, 2021 at 09:56PM by Idkwtfimdoing000 https://ift.tt/3zLG6Pj
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