I’m a 30s/f, my ex is a 30s/m, and our son is in elementary school. We officially divorced two years ago. We generally have an amicable relationship and co-parent well. Despite that, due to the divorce and COVID-19, our son’s anxiety was put into overdrive. He was having a ton of behavioral issues and meltdowns. Fortunately, we were able to get a referral for him to see a social worker/counselor. It’s been six months, and he’s made significant progress. He’s like a different kid. He loves the counselor, and she’s been a great asset to have during this time. Up until recently, we planned to have him continue working with her to work other goals he has.
The issue I’m having is that my ex recently stated he is seriously interested in the counselor. While I tend to handle most of the communication with her, he does see her from time to time. He would like to ask her out.
My worries: if he asks her out, she will have to stop working with our son due to it being inappropriate or a conflict of interest. I have no idea if she is interested in him (since she often sees us separately) or her relationship status. She’s been very professional, so I’m not overly concerned she would pursue a relationship with a client’s parent. I would love to ask her what would happen, but I worry about crossing a boundary. I do not want to lose her as a service because a) it’s tough to find a counselor, and b) it’s as if my ex is trying to take away our son’s special person. He’s got such a great rapport with her, and I don’t want that ruined for him because of my husband’s selfishness.
I have told my ex my feelings, but he’s brushed them off. I explained that she likely wouldn’t date him anyway due to her agency’s rules, but he doesn’t care. I expressed that I, and our son, would be so upset if he had to stop seeing her and my ex said he would look into other agencies. His current behavior is making our once really great co-parenting relationship much more stressful for me because I worry he'll screw things up for kid. I feel like I have no idea what the hell is going on in his head for him to think this is a wise idea.
My questions: How should I handle this with my ex? And should I communicate anything to the counselor? What would happen if my ex goes ahead with it?
TD;LR: My ex (30s/m) wants to ask out our son's counselor. I (30s/f) don't want our son to lose his counselor and I'm pissed at my ex for wanting to do this.
Submitted June 23, 2021 at 04:36PM by whataboutourson https://ift.tt/3wSvtbR
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