I’m (F29) feeling fed up with my fiancé’s (M29) weed smoking habits and I’m not sure if I’m over exaggerating.

TLDR; My fiancé smokes every day as soon as getting home from work and I feel like it’s making him lazy. He claims to need it to de-stress.

My fiancé and I live together for 2 years now. But we’ve been together for 10 years. We have a great relationship and I really love him. The only issue that I’m really sick of dealing with is his weed smoking habits. He works really hard at work so comes home and immediately smokes from his bong to “de-stress”. And then several other times throughout the night. This makes him very spacey and pretty hard to have a conversation with. I feel like I’m dragging out any sort of conversation with him because he’s just out of it. I don’t smoke weed because it makes me anxious. I did used to drink recreationally though but he asked me to stop because it makes me really anxious the next day and alcohol is expensive. So I stopped. But I’m starting to feel bitter about the fact that I could change things in my life that he asked me to change but he can’t even try to change.

I’ve talked to him many times about this and he says things will change but they never do. But I don’t know if I’m being over dramatic. He claims it’s his only way to de-stress after a hard day at work. My view on it is that he could be de-stressing in a lot of other ways. For example, I de-stress by exercising. I go to the gym or work out every day and put a lot of effort into mental and physical health. Where he doesn’t work out and is luckily just a thin person, but doesn’t work out.

I also feel like if he didn’t smoke as much then he’d have energy for other things. For example, I worked 12 hours shifts 4 days in a row this weekend. And he left the house a disaster. It’s a mess. And there’s dog pee all over the couch because he clearly didn’t take our dog out enough. This is what happens when I work a lot and can’t clean... he either just doesn’t know his or is too lazy to.

He always says that smoking is his only outlet and I should allow him that. So am I in the wrong? I can’t help but feel like by our age, he should have kicked his bong smoking habit. It’s hard for me to picture our future life, with a children, and more responsibilities, with someone who needs to hit a bong when they get home from work. Am I just thinking about weed the wrong way?

Submitted August 24, 2020 at 09:48AM by veggiebum https://ift.tt/2Ee41PK