I [33F] tried giving my bipolar brother a job, but he is off his meds and I can't work with him any longer. My father [59M] and mother [57M] blame me and say I'm the problem.

Sorry about the formatting, I obviously have no clue what I'm doing.

I am a 33 year old female with two brothers [31 and 25]. My youngest brother has had problems ever since I could remember. ODD, ADHD, Bipolar disorder, digital addiction, theft, you name it. My mother [57F] is his enabler, and on the whole my family is way too close and up in each others business. My memories are riddled with him attacking me, throwing my property around when he was angry with me, swearing, threatening myself and parents, etc etc etc. My eldest brother and I have had so, so many conversations and fights, begging my parents to do something to get him and his emotions under control, but nothing really happened, my oldest brother just kind of closed himself off to everything involving younger bro, and the fights and issues continue.

Younger bro lost his 5th (or whatever) job and he needed an income. At the same time my assistant resigns, and in a desperate attempt to help my brother find his feet I allowed him to work for me. Big fucking mistake. I tried everything in my power to make it work, guys. He made so many mistakes but I stayed patient, training him, building up his confidence, praising him when he did something right, etc etc etc. He is an extremely emotional person and will lose it every time I bring something under his attention. Still, I prevailed.

Yesterday, he was just off his rocker. Aggressive, argumentative, insulting, crying all the time because Quinne in Glee broke her legs in a car accident, etc. I called my father, as he works for both of us. He came through and Brother just snapped, shouting at me, insulting me, blaming me, telling me how shit a manager I am. My mother intervened (as always), tells brother to do blood tests because some medication isn't working like it should. Blood Tests come back, yup, meds arent working, need new meds.

I avoided the office today as I hated the way that someone who is technically employed by me spoke to me yesterday. I get that Bipolar Disorder is a problem but I feel that its not my responsibility to tell a 25 year old man that he needs to take care of his mental and physical health, and that he doesnt need his mother to tell him to go to the doctor. After keeping my distance and working uneventfully with him, I received a few more complaints from customers about orders not sent / incorrect items sent etc, and just mentioned to him that this isn't working out. He blew his lid again, telling me I'm wrong, shouting at me to get in my car and leave, before rushing off to call my parents.

I calmly called my father, telling him that I built my company up from the ground, and I did everything I could to assist young bro, but I cant risk something I worked so hard for. Father chastised me, telling him I have no idea what it means to bend over backwards for someone, etc. Mother was completely on bipolar brothers side, not even taking the time to listen to my side, but telling me that I am a bully and I am the one bringing this over myself.

It needs to be said, my family likes using anything they give you as collateral to use against you. When I would disagree with my father in the past, he would immediately threaten to sue us for the money he loaned us. Or tell me to move out of the office we share. Mother would want anything back that was given to us. We are finally in a place where nothing is owed to them, so they don't have much collateral to use against me, that I am aware of.

I told mother I am going no contact with all of them. I blocked them all, paid Young Bro money owed to date, and my wonderful husband went with me to fetch most of my stock from the office I shared with my father.

My mother, unable to contact me, calls my best friend in an attempt to get him to help me see their truth. This is a old habit of hers, every time I break contact, she calls my friends to try and persuade me to talk it through. I'm done, though. In essence she mostly wants access to her grandchildren, and I told Best Friend that I will look into giving them visitation rights further down the line, currently they are dead to me.

What do I do? Any advice? Am I in the wrong? I am distraught, but also completely and utterly over this abuse.

Just need to add, my parents can certainly afford to keep bro going. Yes, it's obviously not ideal, but its not like Bro will be on the streets should I not employ him further. Father just bought bro an apartment cash, in an attempt to get him on his feet. Older Bro and I both had to work hard for the houses we purchased.

tl;dr: Tried giving my brother a job and getting him on his feet. His bipolar disorder ensured that us working together is not possible. Family tells me I'm the problem, and I want to go N/C with the whole lot of them.

Submitted August 25, 2020 at 11:46AM by Liels87 https://ift.tt/3llxesr