TL:DR: I cut off contact with my abusive alcoholic uncle because he kept groping me. He died in March, and now his widow, my aunt, is so angry at me that I’m scared to run into her at family events. There’s a family wedding coming up, what should I do?
Years ago my aunt married this man, her first real relationship, when she was 36.
I never liked her husband, he was always baiting me with “funny” insults and pranks. He liked to sneak up and grab me from behind, then run away laughing. He was a really BIG heavyset guy, like 5’10” and at least 300 pounds, maybe 350. He started by just goosing me, then started pulling me in for full-body grabs where my back was pressed against his front. He would also hug me for WAY too long too, and it all felt gross.
At one point my uncle told my ex-boyfriend that "I have to have a proxy relationship with your girlfriend, because I've never slept with a woman that young." He also told my older brother about how he had a "vicarious relationship" with me. What does that even mean?
I always told my uncle to stop grabbing me, saying “Hey, I don’t like that, quit it” and “Stop grabbing me.” But he said “You’re just too sensitive!” and kept doing it. Plus this guy drank HEAVY, and when his inhibitions were down he got scary. Once when my mom and I were spending the night at my aunt’s house right before my grandma’s birthday, he sneaked into my guest bedroom and jumped on the bed while I was asleep. I woke up to this huge drunk man laughing and yelling: “HAH, I decided to jump on you and wake you up!” He only left the room after I started crying.
So I told my parents about it, and they said I didn’t have to go to my aunt’s house or see him ever again. But I ran into him at my brother’s wedding, because my aunt was invited and he came with her. He came up behind me in line for the buffet, really drunk, and put his hand under my skirt and onto my thigh. I got out of there and told my dad, and he took him outside and told him to keep his hands off me. So my family couldn’t just enjoy my brother’s wedding because this huge scary guy was feeling me up and my father had to confront him.
The wedding was 2 years ago, and I never saw him again. But he had a heart attack this March. My parents went to the funeral, but my brother and sister and I didn’t have to go.
Now my aunt is angry at me saying “She let him die mad, why couldn’t she just find it in her heart to forgive him” and says I stirred up a lot of trouble by telling my dad.
I didn’t want my aunt’s husband to die, but I’m not sad either. If anything I’m relieved that I can go to family events again without some drunk married guy over twice my age and twice my size grabbing me. But my aunt is bitter saying I disrespected him and let him die mad. My cousin, my mom’s older sister’s son, is getting married this winter and my aunt will be there, and I’m already dreading the whole thing, especially since I know she’ll probably get really drunk.
Should I even go to the wedding at all?
TL:DR: I cut off contact with my abusive alcoholic uncle because he kept groping me. He died in March, and now his widow, my aunt, is so angry at me that I’m scared to run into her at family events. There’s a family wedding coming up, what should I do?
Submitted August 02, 2020 at 12:57PM by MizWhatsit https://ift.tt/30j6iBg
No comments:
Post a Comment