I [21F] recently became close with a friend [24M] and we relate to each other on a pretty personal level and have a lot of overlapping interests - we met online a few months ago and since then have slowly gotten really close and even wrote handwritten letters to each other. I don't often feel this level of closeness very easily with people straight off the bat.
a few days ago however a big discussion was brought up because i talked about the issues surrounding racism and the idea of 'reverse racism' or being racist to white people. He is Caucasian and i am south-east Asian. I talked about white privilege etc and he immediately took offence and responded to me in a manner that was really hurtful and mean. It's the first time he's shown any form of aggression towards me so it really shocked me and i didn't know what to say so i said okay and i left it for a few days.
He apologised for being rude to me and deleted his message but when i explained again my point (because i felt as though he missed the point completely) he just said the same things over and over and while i'm not looking to change his mind, i do feel as though our moral standing is vastly different. I felt as though he completely minimises the struggles that people of colour go through by saying systemic racism is not longer an issue and that white people experience just as much racism as people of colour, and that white people aren't privileged because they experience mental health issues.
I explained to him that white male suicide is a prevalent issue in society but it is not a racism issue and he completely disregarded everything i was trying to say.
I don't usually choose to end friendships over differences of opinions but i feel as though this topic is so central to my morals as a person that i don't know if i can comfortably be friends with him. I don't know what to do, my boyfriend is telling me that i should make the choice to either end the friendship or try and move past it. but i'm feeling sad about the idea of losing him as a friend, but i also don't think it's an issue i can ignore either.
am i being unreasonable? i don't know what to do.
TLDR: my friend doesn't think racism is an issue even though i as a person of colour experience it regularly and it's hurtful to have my struggles minimised, do i remain friends or cut ties and move on?
Submitted May 24, 2020 at 03:32PM by rainontae https://ift.tt/2Zz9gBy
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