Husband and I have known each other for 7 years, been together for 3 and are now married. He is the love of my life. I would do anything for him. However, we are super different when it comes to our free time. If it were up to him we would almost never leave the house and he would play video games and smoke weed all day. I am a much more social person and like to go out exploring, drinking, hiking, literally anything out of the house. We moved to an area away from my family and friends and it’s been just us and his brother which has been hard for me because I get lonely a lot. 2 years ago I got invited to a bar by my house with one of male coworkers. I was super excited to go out and have a drink especially in my new city. He was chill at work and seemed friendly enough. When I met him at the bar he was already plastered and tried to kiss me immediately. I obviously was like woah, no... and he apologized for being so drunk and just left so I walked home. The next day at work he begged me for a do over and said he was so sorry, it was inappropriate, he was wasted, etc. and invited me to this really cool Star Trek bar downtown. He said that we might meet a few other coworkers there too(he also said that last time). Regardless my stupid self went. I let him pick me up and made him promise this was just as friends. He did and we went to the bar, actually had a lot of fun and then walked to his house nearby so he could sober up and drive me home. That’s all that happened. No cheating, no kissing, nothing. He was just a really outgoing person like me and it was nice to be able to be young and go have fun. I will admit I probably didn’t text my husband enough that night and out of guilt I initially lied and said it was going to be multiple coworkers. Regardless, I know I was in the wrong and I feel terrible because I would hate if he did that to me. However, he constantly brings it up to this day it’s still an issue and he has trust issues. I don’t know what to do but part of me resents him for not being the one to go out with me instead. Back then I used to beg him to go out with me and he would just be like no not my scene blah blah blah. To this day I feel like I have to beg him to hang out with me sometimes. I haven’t gone out in 2 years and I’m at a point where I just really need a night out but he says he can’t trust my “judgement” and also doesn’t trust other people. I admit it could be because I don’t text him much when I’m drinking and I have been in scary situations in the past(being taken advantage of). Even if I make new friends though(just female) I feel like he would never let me go out with them drinking because it gives him anxiety. But when I drink at home (like once a month) I just get so restless and irritated and he gets irritated with me wanting to listen to music/hang out etc. I feel like I’ve tried so hard to prove to him I love him and won’t hurt him again or be selfish like that again. I’m just sick of feeling like a bad person and idk what to do.
tl:dr husband still mad at me and has trust issues about me going out drinking with a male coworker 2 years ago. He also doesn’t want me to ever go out again either and still gets mad about it. How do I fix this?
Edit: wanted to come on here and add that this is pretty much our main if only issue in our relationship. We have such good times and often things are amazing and we treat each other very well. We really don’t want to get a divorce we just don’t know how to fix this.
Submitted October 02, 2019 at 03:08PM by blarblarr https://ift.tt/2nR56oq
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