I (29M) just ended my relationship with my gf/fiance (29F) of over 8 years. I gave her every chance I possibly could, and then some. this last chance was the final straw.

My life just got turned completely on its head. It always sucks to be pushed to the edge so many times, and still end up giving more and more chances. I mean, no one wants to give up on the one they love right?

Everything used to be so great, picture perfect even. After 4 years, I asked her to marry me. It was the best day of my life. However, it quickly turned to the hardest 6-8 months I'd ever experienced. It was around September about 4 years ago. Everything was perfect, I had the woman, I had the happy home I had dreamed of. The next month, October, my Dad was told he had a brain tumor, which would be his second after 10 years from the last one. On top of that, I bestfriend of mine from another state, before we moved to where we live now, hung himself. I was devastated, recieving both the news within 2 days of each other. I shut down. I shut everyone out, including my fiance. Granted, I'm a really quiet person to begin with, but I didn't help that at all. Fast forward to Easter, I was deep in my job, working 60-70 hrs a week. I had still not really opened up to my fiance about how I'd been feeling, although she was well aware of why I was feeling so off for the last 4-5 months. Anyway, like I said, it was Easter, one of the busiest days where I worked. I was the closing manager, however, the mid shift manager offered to close up the place for me and give me a half day. Happy Easter. I head home, maybe 15 mins away. In park my car, pull out my apartment key and unlock the door. Huh, the deadbolt is locked. I knock. 30 seconds later, my fiance opens the door in all her nude glory. Happy Easter. She said she was just about to shower and that I should join her (which seemed odd, because her hair was obviously done up very nicely, just perfect flowing blonde locks.) We head to the bedroom so I may de-robe and get cleaned up. But something felt off. To preface this, my fiance was not necessarily the most tidy of people. Usually her clothes were strewn across the bedroom floor, but tonight was different. Tonight they were all gone. This immediately struck me as a little off. Then I noticed the closet door was closed, which was never the case. She kept trying to hurry me over to the shower, but I had to do something first. I opened the door, and I was greeted by all the clothes missing from the bedroom floor....as well as another man, naked....

Let me remind you, I'm generally a very calm person. But, you hear the expression all the time of people "seeing red". I certainly, however, did not inflict any harm to my fiance, I would never. But this guy? In my eyes, he's trespassing in the wrong place. I let him have it. To spare the details, I threw him out, as well as his phone and clothes over the balcony (he was thrown out the front door, no balcony involved).This is where I made the mistake. We talked/yelled things out. I stayed with her. For another 4 years.To cut this part short, we dealt with issues like this regularly for 6 months, such as me coming home and all her stuff being gone (she came back about a month later, to which I stupidly let her (even after catching her hanging out with this guy several times after)).

And here we are today. My fiance's current job has her working long hours, and before you ask, of course I'm very low on the self confidence meter of my security in my relationship. So, of course, the wheels in my head turn day in and day out. "Where is she really? Who is she really with?" -these thoughts ran through my head constantly every day (an obvious ode to a failing relationship). Anyone who has been cheated on can certainly understand the thoughts that creep up from such things.

Yesterday, she comes home about 1am, not irregular. But she immediately says she isn't feeling good and goes to the bathroom to throw up several times claiming she went with some co-workers for one drink. Something, again, seemed off to me. Later on, she passed out, and my anxiety and low sense of security in my relationship got the best of me. I went snooping through her bag/purse. I found a black notebook, as she is a "write everything" kinda person. I find a few pages mentioning camming on chaturbate. I also see her upcoming monthly schedule of things upcoming. I see several of the dates mentioning camming shows. But, what really got my was the "sugardaddies" rotation schedule. I couldn't believe what I was reading. How could I let something like this happen after everything. I had to wake her up, I couldn't keep this all bottled up. After a few mins of getting her fully awake, she, as per usual, denies, denies, denies. I tell her she's got one chance to work this out (more like 100th chance) by showing me her texts. I wanted to know exactly what I was working with here. Of course she wouldn't let me, and heads for the door. I tell her its over if she walks through that door without showing me her texts. She continues walking. She did end up coming back 15 mins later after presumably cooling off. I tell her "last shot, let me see your texts" she obliges and I see several guys she was talking too, sending them nudes and more nudes, with things like "wow I had such a good time tonight, can't wait to see you again" however after reading a couple, she snatches her phone. I'd had enough and told her to leave. She calls up a friend, they come back, and off she goes with about 90% of her stuff. An hour or two pass, I decide I need to go somewhere. Anywhere but here. I walk over to my car and my whole passenger side is destroyed and smashed up. I call her up, and guess what? Of course she denies it. Cops came, swabbed some blood off of one of the doors and are now hopefully going to get a spit swab from her to confirm or deny if it was her (more than likely she had someone else do it, she's a tiny girl and no way could she do all the damage that was done)

Sorry for the long wall, but to be honest, i really dont have anyone to talk to about this, so who better than internet strangers who have no direct involvement in my life I guess.

Anyone else regret wasting so much time in someone after so many red flags??

I dont really know what it is I'm looking to get out of this post. This is the first time I've posted something like this. I'm just really tore up about all this and needed it get it out somewhere. No one will probably read this anyway...

Also this was all done quickly on my phone so hopefully it all makes sense to whomever reads it.

TL;DR Fiance of 8 years cheated at year 4, stayed together anyway, gets caught doing sugar baby BS and proceeds to destroy my car. What a lovely start to a day.

Submitted August 03, 2019 at 02:51PM by Loosetrigger https://ift.tt/2KgrrnC