I [28f] am fed up with my husbands [32m] attitude towards my job and I don’t know how to move past it

Married for 3 years, together for 7.

We adopted our first child 1 year ago. My job offered a full year of parental leave for adoption, my husbands job offered nothing, so I took the year off to be a stay at home parent with the plan to return to work at the end of the year. During the last year, my husband got two promotions and went from making about what I did to making almost double.

I’m going back to work now and my husband suddenly has this attitude that my job is just some sort of side hobby that I only do to get out of the house and that he’s essentially paying for me to get a job because we’re paying for daycare for our daughter. In truth, I could stay home permanently now given his salary increase, but I don’t want to. I want him to understand that my career is just as important as his. Had I stayed working and he stayed home, our situations could very well be reversed and I would still respect his career. I took the career hit to raise our daughter, but that doesn’t make my career less significant than his.

I’ve tried to discuss this with him one on one but he just denies having this attitude towards my career and insists he respects it just as much as his own. He thinks I’m insecure about sending our daughter to daycare and I’m projecting my insecurities as a mother onto this, but I think that’s not true at all and I have absolutely no issues with being a working mom. I have tried to call out his comments as I hear them because he denies they’re happening at all, but he gets defensive when I do. I’m just feeling really heartbroken about this and want my career to be seen as important and a priority and not as a privilege or something that my husband is allowing me to have. How can I convince hm that this matters to me and that I’m not imagining it or projecting?

Tl;dr my husband has been treating my career like it’s my hobby and not like it is of equal importance to his career. How do I fix this?

Submitted August 06, 2019 at 02:07PM by Throwway73931 https://ift.tt/2YSlWPT