The woman my [29 m] boyfriend cheated on me [27 M] with is pregnant and doesn't want the baby but I might

She's due in five months, and it's a boy. My boyfriend told me about her as soon as it happened and we'd only just been finding some sort of new normal when we heard the big new.

It hurt when he told me. It really did. We've been together for two years. We'd been talking about getting married - I was thinking about seriously asking him if we were gonna actually do it, figuring out a date - Spring of 2023, maybe April or May was what I wanted. All that's had to be put on hold until we figure the rest of this out. For the first month or so I wasn't sure if I was gonna stay.

I still love him, though, and I want this to work, and it looks like he does, too. We've been working so hard to get through this, we've been seeing a therapist, all the stuff you think of when that kind of thing happens. I still feel sick thinking about her, and some days I'm still furious about what he did.

But, if I stay, and we adopt this baby, we could have a family.

I want that. I want that more than anything I've ever wanted before. I've wanted to be a dad for pretty much my entire life - it's the one thing that's stayed consistent for as long as I can remember, even before I realized I was gay. I thought maybe he and I would adopt, or become foster parents or something.

I'm still furious about him, and I'm pretty sure after last night he thinks I'm leaving him, but the fact is (and I know it's not healthy) I spent all of last night on the couch thinking up baby names, looking at schools in the area, looking at the timeline of development for newborns. I want him to call me tato - it's Ukrainian, it's what I called my dad when I was little. My boyfriend is an only child but he's close to his extended family, and on my side he would have a litter of cousins to play with already since I'm the youngest. We have a guest bedroom that would suffice as a nursery but when he's older I would want to move somewhere where we would actually own the house, somewhere with a yard. This is weird but I hope he hugs like my boyfriend - putting exactly the right amount of pressure on the exact right places to make you feel like you're safe, like you're the only other person in the world.

So yeah, that's basically the situation. I thought kids would be something a couple years ahead of me, maybe in my thirties, but now all of a sudden it could be that five months from now we have a family and I want that badly enough that it's painful. Any advice?

---

tldr: my boyfriend cheated, she's carrying his baby and wants to put it up for adoption, and I might want us to adopt it.

Submitted November 24, 2021 at 08:56AM by ohfrabjousgay https://ift.tt/3FM2gmG