My (M43) wife (F40) of nine years has gotten into an emotional affair with the husband (M47) of our close friends.

Our friends are a couple (M47, F45) that have become close over the past five years. We both have daughters of the same age (7) who are best friends, we hangout almost every week.

We all have fun hanging out together. He is a fun guy, outgoing charismatic. My wife and both our friends are big drinkers more so than me although I can hold my own. These interactions between him and my wife started off as playful but has taken on this dimension in the past couple months that have started to really bother me. The innocent flirting has crossed the line with a lot of sexual enuendos and physical touching. It really started around her birthday a couple months ago. He being an outgoing guy said we should go out for her birthday his treat. That is normal but later that night and I don't think she realized I could hear, she said to him "so I hear you want to take me on a date?" In a suggestive tone. I was taken back and didn't really do anything, almost wanting to see if this continued. Then another time a couple weeks ago my wife got her hair cut and colored and when we were all hanging out I happen to see her making eyes with him, curling her hair in a very suggestive way. When she saw me looking at her, her expression changed to one of embarrassment. I thought that she might have gotten the message that I did not like this but it has continued.

The other night she was putting on lipstick on in a suggestive way in front of him. Then a little later extended her chest in front of him and he made an off hand comment clearly in reference/compliment to her breasts. Then a short while later she gave him a hug while jumping up and down, rubber her breasts on him. This right in front of me too.

My wife and I have had a pretty good relationship or so that is was my impression. I don't think anything more is going on, at least at this point. I had a trust in her although this has severely damaged it. We are intimate, but since I have noticed this I have lost interest, and find myself becoming toxic towards her. We were able to get away from the kids for a few days over the summer before this issue started, which was great. When we got back she bragged about how much sex we had on the trip to our friends which now seems inappropriate. I also realize she has a drinking problem, not getting full on drunk everyday but drinking everyday and it is clear she is physically dependent.

I know I have to talk to her about both of these things but I am trying to find a productive way to do it. I care about her and she is the mother of our two young children. I am finding it difficult to not just be toxic with anger and resentment and don't want to just blow up on her.

tl;dr wife having an emotional affair with best friend's husband. Also has drinking problem. How to deal with it and deal with how toxic it has made me.

Submitted November 22, 2021 at 04:21AM by dyironman https://ift.tt/3l1wBpD