I (28F) am engaged to a lovely man (29M)who I love very much. We have slightly different upbringings, I definitely come from more money as I am an only child to parents very successful in their respective fields. I was able to go to school without debt thanks to them, and I got a degree where I make a decent income. My fiance isn't very good with money, none of his family really set that example, he worked a lot of lower pay retail jobs until we met, essentially living paycheck to paycheck. Now he's back in school, and working in his dream field: the park service. It's a low paying entry level job, but he has chances for advancement and I am so happy and excited for him. With an associate degree, he could get opportunities for advancement and realistically make up to 60k a year in the next five years if he tries. I have a feeling he might stick in one of the lower pay hourly jobs to stay hands on, because that's what he enjoys, not management.
Due to the job market in my field during the pandemic, I made nearly 100k last year. Since he's been in school and working towards his dream career, I have been happy to support him during this time. He insisted on equal rent and utilities, but I pay for household expenses, vacations, phone, car insurance, take out food..etc. I cosigned on his car loan because he has bad credit, which is now getting better. He is keeping up with bills and things he wants to buy but he has almost no savings and if there was a surprise large expense, I would have to pay it.
I am okay with the idea of staying the main breadwinner in the household, and he doesn't have any ego trips about it either. He also is the one encouraging me to take breaks from work, or take lower pay jobs to manage my stress level. Neither of us are in it for the money, so how do we handle it? I want to buy a house within the next year, but there's no way he can contribute to that financially. I don't know if it's worth the emotional and legal hassle to get a pre-nup, or buy a house before we are legally married, as if anything happened with us I know he wouldn't fight me for the house. He is a wonderful man, and I don't want money to affect our relationship. I don't want to be an overlord with money, or make him feel lesser for making less money. I'm sure that it will even out after the next 5-10 years, but for the next few years there will be a discrepancy while we settle into married life.
We did agree that we like the idea of keeping finances separate, but to have a joint account that is a percentage of our respective incomes for splurge purchases or vacations. Neither of us like the idea of dumping all our combined income into a shared account.
TLDR: I make more money than my fiancé, and will for the next couple years. How do you approach money in a new marriage with a big income discrepancy?
Submitted November 24, 2021 at 08:21AM by jesusshitsrainbows https://ift.tt/3DKPioN
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