I (33F) am obsessing over wanting to have kids while my partner (32M) wants to wait years and his family is suffocating me

Ever since my BFF got pregnant 1.5 years ago, I've increasingly been wanting to have a baby as well. 2 other babies have also been born close to me recently (niece and godson) and 2 more on the way. With each new pregnancy, I cry for a day. Also panicking that I'm almost 34 and if I have to find a new partner, I might never have kids.

The situation is complicated, as always. My SO and I are from different countries. Currently living in a country that neither of us are from and buying an apartment here. I left my country 6 years ago, but never really loved living where he is from. He definitely does not want to move to my country, mostly because he doesn't speak the language. I was happy when we decided to buy a place here and it felt a bit like we were finally settling down..... BUT his family (mother, sister + bf) came here with us (originally escaping covid lockdown at home). I thought it would be temporary, but his mother now bought an apartment in the same building as us and it sounds like his sister is staying too. Added conflict there is that I hate her bf. Don't want to go into detail, but I just can't bring myself to like him and wish at least he wasn't also here to stay.

I'm feeling suffocated by them being so close - again. His mom is generally ok and we get along, but very needy, always wanting everything and a bit of a drama queen. I'm upset she bought the same place we have, financially stretching herself to the maximum. I had something nice and now she has it too and will be living 8 doors down. I like the sister a lot, but can't be close to her because I just can't handle her bf. Also, they are all into all the covid /vaccine conspiracies and I'm so tired of it. I can feel myself turning very hostile towards them and have avoided seeing them the past 2 days since getting back.

I went to my home country for 6 weeks and felt so much more at home and didn't really want to go back. I'm a better person there. My family is more 'normal'. We're close, but with physical space between us all. I literally cried the morning I left. I'm feeling so overwhelmed by everything.

I talked to my bf about a week ago when I was still gone and brought up wanting a baby and he wants to get some manly advice on it as he does not want one yet (he'd be ok waiting 8 years). We have our issues, manly because I'm becoming increasingly impatient and feeling unloved because in over 8 years he hasn't wanted to commit to me. He doesn't because I'm low libido and he's scared of committing to me and being stuck with me and that I might also want to move to my home country one day (and take a potential child with me). He's a great guy, very smart and I love him, but I'm starting to feel like I'm wasting time sticking around hoping for things to get better.

I don't even know what I'm asking here. I guess whether this situation seems solvable from the outside because my head has been spinning and I'm constantly feeling anxious thinking about it all. Any advise on where to even start would be appreciated.

TL, DR: I have terrible baby fever, but bf of 8 years does not. Adding conflict is his family being extremely close when I'd prefer some distance and it's making me unhappy.

Submitted June 23, 2021 at 05:53AM by xsundancerx https://ift.tt/3wV6yUT