My boyfriend (19M) and I (19F) have been together for nearly 2 years and we are extremely happy. When we started dating, I was quite fit. I exercised often, ate well, and took care of myself. But since January this year, I have gained about 33 pounds due to stress and other things happening in my life. The weight has made an obvious difference in my physical appearance and my self confidence has taken a bit of a toll because of it. I don’t dress up, do my hair or put makeup on anymore because i don’t feel like it does anything. I haven’t ever really gone absolutely all out with my looks, except for on special dates, and neither has he so I don’t see why it would cause a problem now but it might be.
Over the past few months, our sexual interactions have heavily declined. I think the last time we had sex was about three or four months ago. Since that time, the only sexual things we’ve done has been a blowjob about two months ago. Now I’m not a very sexual person, but I’m starting to get frustrated which I hope is understandable. Whenever I try to initiate something, he always says “not tonight” or “I’m tired, sorry”. I understand that these are very good reasons to not want to have sex, but it’s been the same two answers for the past four months. Other than just not having sex, a lot of his behaviours have changed. He used to always say dirty things at random or just jokingly touch me, but now he doesn’t do either of those. And now anytime I even bring up sex, even just in normal conversation, he will shut me down and not want to talk about it. He still tells me I’m beautiful, and the “prettiest girl in the world” but not as much as he used to.
I’ve started thinking that the real reason he doesn’t want to do anything sexual is because of my change in physical appearance. So I think he might dislike how I look, but feels guilty about it and doesn’t want to tell me. But if it isn’t anything to do with my physical appearance, then I want to figure out what it actually is so we can work it out.
I hope I’m not coming across as sounding really mean, but I just want some advice on how to ask him and figure it all out, without hurting either of our feelings
tl:dr I’ve gained weight and even though my boyfriend tells me he loves me, we haven’t had sex in months
I posted this on r/relationship_advice but thought I’d post it here too
Submitted June 24, 2021 at 12:15AM by Necessary_Age_3029 https://ift.tt/3wXlNwx
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