Married in this family for 4 years. Grandma-in-law (80F) seems pissed at me for a reason I (30F) don’t fully understand. It involves a formal tea and I feel like I’m in a Jane Austen novel. Did I do something wrong and how can I fix it?

This past Saturday I was hanging out with my sister-in-law and her two kids, a girl age 3 and boy age 1. This sis-in-law lives out of state but makes a point of visiting at least once a month. I checked my email in between helping wrangle the kids and noticed a message from my Husband’s Grandmother (so would also be the sister-in-law’s Gran). The message was an invite to a “Formal Ladies Christmas Tea” in early December. This is an annual event that the grandma puts on for a select group of women, it’s actually a huge honor to be invited but I didn’t know that at the time.

I told sis-in-law about the invite and she was shocked that her grandma had invited me as the Christmas Tea is apparently only reserved for Grandma’s elite group of friends. She said that maybe Grandma was changing things up and inviting family and checked her email for an invite. When there wasn’t one in her inbox she asked me to forward her the message. In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have, but I’m still new to the family and have a hard time saying no to any of them. I forwarded her the invite and figured she and Grandma would talk.

The next day I received the following email from Grandma:

“Greenligh - The Christmas Tea is an annual event for a small group of ladies and myself. We are able to only seat 16 comfortably. This year I had three open spaces and decided to invite three of my granddaughters. Now you invited (sister in law) and I am having to rearrange seating. Additionally, she asked to bring (3 year old daughter) which is inappropriate as this is a formal event. I am very disappointed in the way you handled this situation. I will see you in December at Tea. -Gran”

Umm what?! What am I supposed to do about this? Do I email her back? Do I tell my sister-in-law? I told my husband if it’s that big of a deal to his sister I will gladly give her my spot at the table. I am just totally unprepared to navigate this situation. I didn’t invite anyone, I just forwarded an email! I know nothing about the etiquette surrounding invitations to tea!

Tl;dr Grandma-in-law invited me to tea, sis-in-law invited herself and her toddler to tea and now Grandma-in-law is upset with me.

Submitted September 30, 2019 at 08:43PM by GreenLigh https://ift.tt/2o2Tdvk