My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for almost 8 years. We were together for 6, took a year break, and then now we are trying things out again. It’s very rocky and I’m not sure if we will stay together, but I hope we do.
I have to move in December, and I really want to live in the same area as my bf. I don’t want to live there because of him. I want to live there because it is the only place in the surrounding area that has a young crowd, active lifestyle, and lots of restaurants, bars, and other places that I love to go to. It is my ideal location. I can walk everywhere instead of drive, and it’s close to my job. There is a river that runs through the town, a mall nearby, and it’s just perfect for what I want. I currently live out in the middle of nowhere and I absolutely hate it. The only thing is that there are only 2 apartments in this area that are within my budget. His apartment complex, and one other. I want to sign a lease in the other apartment complex - not the one he lives in.
The problem is that he does not want me living near him at all. His reasoning is: 1. He doesn’t want our social circles to overlap. 2. If we break up, he doesn’t want to run into me. He has told me that if I sign a lease there, he wants to end things immediately. In fact, he has told me that if I even say that I am going to sign a lease there, he’s done. So I can’t even bring it up to him without him breaking things off with me.
My counter argument to him was that if he thinks we could break up, then why would I make a life decision on something so fragile? Also, our social circles do not even need to overlap at all. I value space and time away from him when need be, and I think it’s healthy to have time away from each other.
He is a realtor, so I suggested that maybe he could help me find an apartment that is similar but a little further away. He admitted that there are no other places that fit what I want. He said that everything else would be pretty similar to where I live now.
I don’t know how to communicate my concerns to him, but I also don’t want to just sign a lease without consulting with him first. I want to give him the heads up before I do so. I also really don’t want our relationship to end over this. Am I in the wrong here? Should I just suck it up and live somewhere else? Or should I make a decision on what I want and sacrifice the relationship?
TL;DR My boyfriend does not want me living near him, and has told me that if I sign a lease near where he lives, he will end the relationship with me.
Submitted October 01, 2019 at 08:01PM by Kushtinsatina https://ift.tt/2nNtUgL
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