TLDR at the bottom!
So my roommate (21M) and I (22F) have become pretty close friends in the last few months. We both have faced a lot of serious trauma throughout our lives and we talk pretty openly about our personal issues and try to help each other get through them. We've started to see each other as family in a way, but now I have an issue that I don't know how to deal with.
About a week or so ago, I asked him to stop bringing people over to our apartment due to the pandemic. Aside from the fact that nobody should be having friends over right now, I also have immunocompromised family members to worry about (who I have been staying away from for about 3-4 weeks now).
He agreed to stop bringing friends over but still just continues doing it. It's difficult for me to confront someone when I have an issue because I'm very afraid of upsetting people, so I bit my tongue for a minute and kinda gave him the benefit of the doubt that maybe he misunderstood and thought I just meant no groups of people (it's mostly been one friend at a time, with one instance of 2 or 3 people at once). Well, come to find out, he knew exactly what I meant and he knew he lied to me. He's apologized multiple times but still won't stop. Someone comes over just about every other night, and he's had someone sleep over the past 2 nights in a row.
Anyway. The reason I'm posting is that I don't know how to tell him that I'm moving out, or if I should tell him why. I don't know if I should tell him how pissed off I am that he's A) not taking the pandemic seriously and putting other people at risk, B) completely disrespecting the boundaries I tried to set, and C) repeatedly "apologizing" but not actually stopping what he's doing.
I'm about 6 months out of an extremely abusive relationship, so this situation is triggering a lot of shit that's making it difficult for me to see this whole thing clearly. Should I tell him how disrespected I feel? Ideally, I'd be able to calmly explain to him what I'm thinking/feeling but I'm really struggling with emotional dysregulation right now and I don't think I'd be able to get into it without crying/panicking.
So Reddit, what do you think? Should I bite the bullet and be honest with him about how shitty his behavior is, or tell him the bare minimum (I'm moving out, I'll find someone to take over my part of the lease, and I'll make sure my share of everything gets paid until then) and just leave it at that?
Any advice is greatly appreciated!! I'm terrible with relationships/communication/confrontation/the whole shebang and I just don't want to make this any more emotionally charged than it already is.
TLDR: I asked my roommate to stop bringing friends over during the pandemic, he agreed but still has not stopped. Because of this, I've decided to move in/quarantine with my older sister. I don't know how I should tell my roommate without causing a big emotional scene.
Submitted April 03, 2020 at 03:10PM by VeganSlut420 https://ift.tt/3aInIdp
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