Would it be demeaning/belittling if I made a chores chart for the both of us (22F/28M) (but mostly for him?)

So my boyfriend is horrible with chores. His mother loves him so much that before I moved over, she would literally come clean his house once every few weeks, top to bottom. He has no concept of what it means to have cleanliness.

Dishes piled up in the sink? Waits til it gets back. Throws his clothes all over the floor after work.

I cleaned the bathroom and went a month without cleaning to see if he'd noticed... nope. There's soap scum and stains in the toilet as I type this.

I know he means no harm. He's just really used to someone cleaning up after him. Very spoiled indeed.

He's not entirely laZy because I talked with him about this a while ago and he has gotten better but not completely. Dishes still pile up after dinner and laundry is done, but our bedroom floor still has his clothes all over it after I've completely stopped cleaning after him in an attempt to get him to try and notice a little. Yes I've talked with him about this a LOT. He does have ADD and I'm not sure if that makes it so he just can't focus on cleaning but really, there's very little organization.

Enough about my little rant though. I realize he follows actions very well. Like if I say something should be done, physically in the moment, he does it. And I know he really appreciates when I appreciate it.

So I've been doing some thinking and want to do a chores chart, stickers and all (albeit, maybe demons and fantasy feature stickers). He'll fill it out himself but I really want him to actually focus on tasks instead of maybe being overwhelmed with having to remember to clean stuff?

I'll fill it out too, because I want us both to work together to do chores I'm not just punishing him.

But I can't help but feel like it might be belittling. He might see it as me calling him a child.

But personally I feel like I'm living with one. I can't stress this enough, some of what happens is downright dangerous. (ESPECIALLY when he leaves the pot handle pointing outward while cooking...)

I think starting habits with him would help him improve but I also don't know. Thoughts?

TL;DR: boyfriend is used to having other people clean after him, I don't want to do that. I want him to learn habits of cleaning and organizing but I also don't want it to seem demeaning. Is it belittling to set that up/propose it?

Submitted September 04, 2019 at 06:55PM by zzzt_zzzt https://ift.tt/2ZI49iW