My boyfriend [30m] thought the conversation I [22f] was having with my friends [20s women] was mean and catty.

My friends and I used to be a little wild in college, we all hooked up with a bunch of people, like after parties, and stuff. We've all settled down a lot since then. We were all college athletes and a bunch of people we know stayed in the area after college so we've got the same group of friends and acquaintances still around. My friend Jodie had a childhood friend Sara move to the area recently, and we all started to invite Sara out with us because she was new and didn't know many people. On new year's, we brought Sara to a bar, and I also brought my boyfriend Tom.

Us girls were having a chat about whether Sara was interested in any of the guys she'd met in town, and she brought up one guy, and 2 of my friends said that he was awful in bed, and that she could do better. She brought up someone else, and I said that I'd hooked up with him once and he wasn't worth her time either. She brought up a third guy, and one of my friends just went "2 out of 5 stars" and we all started joking about how we should make an app like Yelp to save new girls in town from bad sex. Sara started to list off every guy she'd met in town, and literally for every one of them, one of us had either slept with them, or we knew someone who had, and knew what they'd thought of them.

Tom didn't seem to find it too funny, and when I noticed that, I moved the conversation on to another topic. I asked him later if he felt uncomfortable with me talking about having had sex with other people in the past. And he said that no, it wasn't that, he'd had a bit of a wild time in college too, and he didn't judge. I asked if something else was up, and he said that he thought we were acting like "mean girls, like the kind of catty girls you see in a chick flick"

I said we were just having a laugh, and trying to help our new friend not waste her time on anyone we knew wasn't considerate in bed. He said that it was catty anyway, and that it wasn't a good look. I was honestly a little surprised, my friends and I talk about this stuff all the time, and I didn't think it was a big deal. But it clearly bothered my boyfriend. And I don't know if I should stop talking about that kind of stuff in front of him in the future, or what... I still will warn a friend if I see her going for a guy I've heard won't be a good time, but I don't know if it will bother my boyfriend if he knows... I guess I don't fully get why he's so bothered

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Edit - one commentor said this should be added to the post, and I think it is relevant... The kind of things we were criticizing were things like:

someone who choked my friend when she said she didn't want it

Someone who would not be gentle with another friend even when she was saying it hurt how hard he was going

Someone who gave a friend hickeys when she said to not do that

Someone who hooked up with two of my friends and wouldn't do any of the things they said they liked, like touching them during sex

Someone who talked during sex with my friend about wanting to have sex with her mom

Someone who refused to use a condom, so much that my friend left rather than have sex without one

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TLDR - My friends and I told our new friend which guys she had crushed on were not worth her time, my boyfriend thought that whole conversation was catty. Should I change how I talk to my friends about this stuff?

Submitted January 02, 2019 at 09:54AM by BrewBooBo http://bit.ly/2LONCQZ