I got the news last night. Her reasoning was she didn't see the relationship going where she wanted. That being a married, a house, and kids.
Our back history is this. We lived in separate cities the first 2 years. She eventually moved closer but moved in with her father. We both had a 2-3 year span then of unstable jobs and pretty heafty career transitions I have been living on my own for 7 years and she stayed with her dad.
Around 4 years in She then got the idea to start her own business. She still had little to no income and massive student/credit debt. Somehow she got a business loan and moved on with her plans. I was switching careers into sales from management.
I gave her time, space and emotional support during that time. It took her another year (up to 6 now) to get her business actually running after the initial year of starting it on paper. She was incredibly stress having little to no income and massive bills. Most of her attempts at part time work were failing.
She started a fight around the time things started to seemingly stabilize with her new business. The reason for the fight was She wanted us to move In together and get married and start a family. I am very ok with the idea of marriage. Not the family part since we both didn't have stable incomes, schedules and mindsets...and less stable savings.
We end up moving in together At year 5-6. Since I had the most stable income I paid the vastly larger share [80+%] of the bills including rent, groceries and entertainment, bulk of utilities. I never held this over her head. I kept my head down and did what I needed because I understood that she isn't paying herself through her business (which is gradually growing and starting to make better money) and her part time gigs were very random and unstable.
This year things have been odd. I was emergency hospitalized and it took a massive toll on me mentally. I could have fucking died. It effected my stress levels and work/home life. Now I'm also massively in Debt.
She has a massive debt from her business/student/credit loans. I'm still paying the bulk of the bills.
She has been busting my ass about savings and financial stability for tye both of us. I've expressed how horribly one sided it seems that I need to pay the bulk of our living situation and do the bulk of saving. On top of that my career has me shelling out roughly a grand worth of compensation per month. I pay out of pocket then get reimbursed which ends up being next months float. She has been outright rude to me recently trying to start fights in public around friends and family about how poor my savings ability is (while she is more or less feeding/living off me)..
So now that life is a bit more settled I loose my job last week. Last night she tells me she can't continue this relationship because she is not happy with the pace of us getting married having a house and kids.
We are both incredibly strong willed and dominant people.
I'm a bit more emotionally reserved but am always going to stand my ground when accused of being wrong. I do everything in my power to be quiet and listen and react to situations accordingly. My flaws are I'm not the best with money but I still make my ends meet. I can be very stubborn especially if I am set in my way about something. I can be a bit introverted. I'm incredibly loyal and a respectful gentleman.
She is very big risk taker which is a flaw of hers since she tends to invest all in emotionally and financial to (sometimes) bad ideas. She is very loyal and religious. She is painfully extroverted and her life revolves around others. She is good with planning but sometimes her plans are not tye best for the situation. She is very short tempered and tends to be rude to people. she has a personality like her mom. Her mom lead her family to financial ruin and divorce over un controlled lavish spending and a need for new next latest greatest. She's been taking a lot of advice from her mom recently, who has been through a failed marriage in the about of time we have been together.
TL;DR. Gave 9 years of emotional and financial support to my GF. When she got to a place where she made it...she left me.
Submitted January 03, 2019 at 05:30AM by abstractattack http://bit.ly/2VrKfUo
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